Wednesday September 19, 2012

RABBIT FEVER

Bonjour Meme,

I might have lost count of time; however, I kept a pencil nearby, and marked X's for each day the sun passed by the window; marking seven X's in total for each day, seven days since we last spoke. I couldn't move for the first few days, but to force myself when needed to fulfill the bare necessities.

Everyday I thought my head would explode. And my chest hurt, every time I coughed; It felt like I was coughing nonstop. Now I feel chills, with a slight headache, and an occasional galloping night slops.

After the first day, I wedged a chair and a block of firewood between the door and the door frame to hold the door open enough to allow Me' Loss to pass though the doorway, to give her access to the outside when needed. It made it cold during the day inside the shelter so I slept near the wood stove. And I closed the door at night to keep Me' Loss and the heat in at night.

I had crazy dreams throughout my sickness, one particular reoccurring gloomy dream I kept imagining was where I was locked inside a darkened room with Me' Loss, and she kept barking, and barking at the door. There was knocking and shouting and I think Miles was at the door yelling, "Are you in there Nicole, are you in there?"

I woke crying and missing Miles, and my family, and even papa.

I won't give up hope. Sleep well, meme.